he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
