also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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