I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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