Your tits are I can't wait for
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
