cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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