This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
