Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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