I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
