HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
