I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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