How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
