Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
