I just cut my nipple shaving
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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