I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
