Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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