My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
