You smell like a Billy Joel song
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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