Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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