It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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