You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
