hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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