Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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