I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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