Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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