I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
