You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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