i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
