you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
