I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
