Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
