This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
