The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
