K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
