You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
