No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize