we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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