Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
