If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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