the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize