Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
