two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
