The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
