You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
