He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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