Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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