how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
