no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
