Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
