wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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