Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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